Thursday, June 2, 2011

The depth of Humanity

I don't have much close friends.
In fact, I don't have any at all.
The closest thing I've had to a best friend so to speak was a tape recorder in the 4th grade, when I thought I was Barbara Walters.

I have what are called ''acquaintances''.
They are fun while they last.

Most people find it appalling that I don't have what most people consider to be a close relationship with someone. I find my instinctual nature. I'd take loneliness over dependence any day. Believe me, it's not that I push/pushed people away. I've just never had time to develop moist relationships with people because I moved every 1.5 years. In knowing this, I never really took the time to generate a strong relationship because I know the splits would be harsh to the youthful and timid heart.

It was only until later on that I began to realize, that most of the people I admired and adore were probably some of the most loneliest of the bunch. But these are the geniuses. They are the ones that know to reject negativity. To reject any biased opinion and in doing so, they can form their own viewpoints on life, art and politics.
They were the social rebels. They understood that to see change you have to become it. You had to push yourself from the average mentality, to shake its gravity.
This was everything to me. This I knew and know I have in me.
So sorry. Sorry if I'm distant, world. It's not you. It never was.

Love,
your considerate clitionary.