My Perception of Halloween

Every day of the year is a lie. 

There.

I said it.

Except....for one day. October 31st. More commonly known as Halloween, boys and hurls. 

It is only on the event of Halloween when everyone reveals their truth. Their true mask shines.  Every other day is just every other day, a lie upon another lie. One could argue that on Halloween you mask yourself. But I on the other hand, am suggesting that you are actually unveiling yourself on Halloween.

People dress how they want or feel more honestly that day. I always wondered why it was accepted to dress like a Las Vegas prostitute more openly on Halloween than any other day. I wish everyday was Halloween. It's great. People are far more accepting of unusual fashion choices. Having to stock up for a year's supply of fake blood is another hell in itself. Its the one day where people are given enitire freedom to be whomever they want to be and gifted for it. Halloween's ideologies is exactly what we all hope for in a society.

Plus, is it wrong that I want to see most of the world for what it really is?

Walking zombies and bandaged goods?

X

The Concept of "Growing Up"

It's funny, now that I look back on life, I realize what an unfair question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was for the young me. It presupposed that we cannot be what we already are.
The world asks you what you want to be, then tells you what not to be.
I guess what that question really implies is a preconditioning of sorts. Followed by several clouded judgments on your initial instinct.
 What the world really means by that question is:
1) Are you going to do what we expect of you?
2) and is it acceptable enough (brag worthy to the rest of the community)?

Some are strong and will persevere through the unholistic wordsmiths. 
Others will sadly fall under their spider web.
I wonder how many Picassos and Nietsches of our time that we have lost in this battle...

The Disposable Generation

I recently discovered that we now live disposable lives.

Yesterday I went to the park to clean my mind.
After 30 minutes, I found my favourite bench and ran off to it, for it has the perfect view of the soccer team yelling away, the swings, the dogs, the runners. It's exceptional.
A few minutes later, an elderly couple sat next to me and they held hands. We started talking and I asked them how long they've been together. They said : it'll be 60 years next month! 
I was floored.
When I asked them how they managed, she replied with : Generations, dear, generations. We were fortunate to be born in a time where when something was broken you fought hard to fix it. Not just throw it out like disposable batteries.

That concept really stuck with me. 
Fighting through struggle.
Over the next few hours, I began to reflect on the generations...trying to pin point the exact moment where we started to become this "disposable" generation.
Not a particular moment in time connected with me, mainly because I am certain that this has formed within a few generations. The link? Technology.
The more attached we have become to being wired, the more detached we have become with ourselves. We've lost our sense of nature, our sense of touch.
The only "touch" we refer to is on our iPads.
We throw away anything that has a crack in it, because we always want to have the latest and flashiest, to impress people we don't like, with money we usually don't have.


Is this the life?
Is this what we have made of life?
How have we gone from Gandhi and Percy Shelley to video camera phones and morally grey reality tv shows as forms of education?



XtG

The Underlying Masks

A mask.
The most commonly used prop in any social setting.
It is in which the world finds its synchronicity.
We have allowed ourselves to become so immune to them that we've found we can only merely see them if aided with the visualization.
My hypothesis : Give an individual a mask and it is only then that he/she will reveal their truth.
Most would humbly argue otherwise. Their common argument may be conditioned to something such as : Wearing a mask is to pretend to be someone/something else. The mask can be a kind of language that expresses the emotion of the figure one chooses to create.

All valid, but some masks may serve more than one purpose. The primal use of the masks in which I refer to are more the physical manifestation on the concept of providing the wearer with the means to transform their personality with their truths (or what they believe to be their truths). These masks are made for those people who want to capture themselves in a certain moment.

I have come to learn that it is only the brave wear them out for the world to see. For it is the most honest action.
They can openly lay their intent for the world's viewing eye.
A friend has recently taught me this lesson, one in which I shall grow to cherish quite dearly. As the masks have been accompanying her lately, I find the horror in the removal of the masks. She understands how dangerous a mask can be. 
For they are or become what they pretend to be. That is where the honesty lays.

I shall end this with Andre Berthiaume who cleverly stated the following : We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.”

XtG

The Lie of Love

Tonight's insomniac inspiration stems from the very subject I loathe and secondarily mention. Love.


It has come to my attention that this concept that is ''love'', has turned into something not as glorifying in 2011.
Our eyes. 
Our eyes no longer see.
Your soul mate could be standing right in front of you and you wouldn't even know it.


This is because there are two parts to you. 
1) Your true self.
2) Your celebrity self. 


Your celebrity self is the one that is obsessed with ego. The one that's talking about the thick brown hair, those bedroom eyes, etc. 
But these pairings never work. 
And when they fail, we wonder why?
 Why with our broken hearts and our bruised egos....
Dont get me wrong, I'm not saying physical attraction isn't important.
What I'm trying to emphasize is do not confuse the attraction to the physical with the yearning of the soul. Given its chance, the true self (the higher self) will always break through to find its soul partner. 
And trust me darlings, it can come from the person you least expect. So don't close out, or else you'll never know what you missed.

Confidence vs. Cockiness

There are two ways to look at this ''better than everyone else'' concept.
1) You are ego-maniac that thirsts for recognition. 
2) You are a manic that thirsts for recognition because you know you have what it takes. 


This statement was never meant to be stated in a snotty way. 
Note that it was and is societal therapy on how we always have to be insecure. 
This therefore causes the world to have an equilibrium. 
A balance of the weak and the strong. 
This helps those in power sit at ease, while the rest struggle endlessly trying to make way. 


If everyone was bold enough to take a stand at their life, the world would be chaotic. 
But maybe that's what it needs....
Next time you try to reinstate your passions and boldly sway the night away with your charm, don't let the world call you cocky (especially if you have a vagina). Those that do ARE the timid. 
Let's be honest, Mick Jagger never went into the business thinking he was mediocre. He had the biggest dream and greatest confidence in himself that he could take himself there. Years later he did.

The depth of Humanity

I don't have much close friends.
In fact, I don't have any at all.
The closest thing I've had to a best friend so to speak was a tape recorder in the 4th grade, when I thought I was Barbara Walters.

I have what are called ''acquaintances''.
They are fun while they last.

Most people find it appalling that I don't have what most people consider to be a close relationship with someone. I find my instinctual nature. I'd take loneliness over dependence any day. Believe me, it's not that I push/pushed people away. I've just never had time to develop moist relationships with people because I moved every 1.5 years. In knowing this, I never really took the time to generate a strong relationship because I know the splits would be harsh to the youthful and timid heart.

It was only until later on that I began to realize, that most of the people I admired and adore were probably some of the most loneliest of the bunch. But these are the geniuses. They are the ones that know to reject negativity. To reject any biased opinion and in doing so, they can form their own viewpoints on life, art and politics.
They were the social rebels. They understood that to see change you have to become it. You had to push yourself from the average mentality, to shake its gravity.
This was everything to me. This I knew and know I have in me.
So sorry. Sorry if I'm distant, world. It's not you. It never was.

Love,
your considerate clitionary.

Men and Fashion

Lately, I really have not been enjoying the lack of fashion sense in men now a days. But it isn't their fault.
They were never taught to be adventurous and expressive with their fashion, but more with their biceps.
In fact, their fashion is so predictable that business and retailing for men must be such a breeze.


Society has given men boundaries. 
Fashion is one of them. It is such a no go zone for men to viciously face. 
Men, just know....
that you do not have to be gay to be astounding. You just have to be strong enough to be the voice of the unheard. It is your lack of care, that makes the industry continue not to do anything about this. I can only fight with you for so long.


So many men have been visually captivating in their day : Elvis, D. Bowie, M. Jackson, Flava Flav, G. Lee, and Prince to name a few.
This could be you, if only you choose to.

The Circle

The circle is almost everything to us. It is the most simplistic and undeniably layered image.
Without the the circle we wouldn't get anywhere.
We would travel nowhere.
We wouldn't see anything.
We would be nothing.
In fact, we wouldn't have even been conceived without the circle.


Eyes.
Wheels.
Clocks.
Soccer balls.
Sperm cells.

From a single organism came the world.

The Picture to my Frame

You are the picture to my frame.
I, being the frame, would do almost anything to keep the picture safe.
Through glass exterior you would be seen. Seen but not touched.

Because baby...you know that deep down you only like the way I keep you around.
You like the way I hold you at all angles. You like that I don't usually miss a spot.
You like the feeling of consistency, the concept of ''togetherness''. 


Picture this, my picture. 
I am but only a frame. You are the center piece. The focal point. I am merely a surrounding. You get the thrill, and I get a chill when I press you.
It keeps me coming back for more. It makes me want to do tricks for you like showing you how long I can stay on a wall before falling or wobbling. I know everything is going to be a-okay, but do you feel alive on my glass? Do you? You know...this glass has your name on it. It usually doesn't fit most pictures anyways.


Most pictures are either always trying to be too big, or they just don't have the 'ummmf' to be big enough.
You're just right. You put me to sleep at night, picture.

From, 
the frame.
X

The Deconstruction of the Celebrity

In the celebrity world, many have others to help them do what many people would normally do on their own. They have advisors, stylists, hair/make-up, etc...

They are the mind, celebs are the body, the media is the soul.

Little to they understand what they are doing to themselves. With the help of others they are detaching themselves from their own choices. They are playing the role of a mannequin, patiently waiting by the shelf to be changed again for the next event or showcasing. That's very disappointing to see.

Do you see why celebrities are boring in that sense?
THEY ARE CONSTANTLY TOLD WHAT TO WEAR. If only they found their own sense of fashion to mirror the world then they would finally be set free.

They do not understand that time is ticking and people are waiting. They are waiting for something new. That's why they would rather see people with elephants on their heads now. Start shaping and re-inventing the word innovation. 

Fashion is a social commentary on your character. It is an explanation to your demonstration. Don't take it lightly.

Interview - Kermit Tesoro

My dear friend Kermit Tesoro is no one knew to the scene of fashion.
He embraces it with full force.
We talked over biscuits....

Xtina - I must say I love this picture. It gives me a really McQueen/Damien Hirst feel to it.What inspired those heels?

Kermit - Thank you! Basically the heels are just representation of my mild iconoclasm on women’s heels. Skulls may very interpretations. All I know is that skull is measured as the seat of intelligence.

Xtina - You give very dark undertones within your work. How do you describe your taste in terms of your own fashion?

Kermit - When I design, I usually submit my consciousness in to a blank pit hole. I just don’t want my works to be too imposed. Maybe that pit hole has dark tendencies. 

Xtina - Who would you love to work with? Who is your muse?

Kermit - I’d like to work with anyone who shares the same vision and my muse hasn’t discovered me yet…

Xtina - What makes you so attracted to this sort of ''avant-garde, playful rollercoaster'' shape to fashion? I certainly don't blame you, once you are in there is no turning back. Life becomes boring.

Kermit - Avant-garde in fashion is becoming more pronounced and I’m very fascinated with ideas that extend beyond other art disciplines. I agree, it’s like a movement of fashion and art eugenics. And I am just part of the insurgency that promotes and practices the idea. 

Xtina - What do you want seen in your work? What don't you want seen in your work?

Kermit - What Ive seen and what I see in my work keeps me working with the next experiment. And what I don’t want to witness in my works is regression.

Xtina - I want to see you shaking Gareth Pugh's hand. Can you make this possible? HA!

Kermit - I hope so! 

Xtina - What can we expect in the future from you? Where do you see yourself in say....5 years.

Kermit - Maybe I’m answering another different set of questions from your interview.

Good answer, Kermit.Good answer....

The Fight (The Screenplay)

I have been living through this metaphor lately.


This is the picture : 


There are two kinds of blood cells in our body. Red blood cells and white blood cells.
They of course, pertain to different purposes within the system.
Unfortunately enough they coincide and ultimately work together as a team.


Naturally there are less white cells than red ones. The red ones like to overpower and take charge of the white ones. Little do they know that the white ones have a heavy weight they must carry over their shoulders.
They aren't often used because they don't seem to be of use to individuals. They do not realize that without them they cannot heal.  They cannot feel.

The white cells are white for a reason. They are pure, and their intent are good. They are filled with innocence that bore the red cells. You see...the red cells are hot-headed. Red = their outrage against life (even though their organic nature is to live). They are impulsive, rebellious creatures with a nature that feeds off of power and misplaced energy. The white cells share energy from others. They are very efficient in that manner. Red blood cells are in a constant state of fury, they are always left empty even though they have it all. Red blood cells are everywhere there is no denying that. Red cells are white's truest weakness. White cells try to part ways in a very quite manner even though the red wants to make it two way street. White and red do not mix. 


As much as Body needs white cells, they only come out and play for a few moments. Only when Body asks for it to. But the red...oh the red is always there. Body always needs red. Body begs it not to change or leave. But white is dying inside...dying to tell Body how arrogant red cells are. Me and you both know that Body enjoys the white and red battlefield. In fact, thrives off it. This is a form of entertainment to all organs of Body.


I am a white cell living in a red celled society. What do I do?

Bringing Back Fashion

I want to bring the element of edge back into society. Real edge.
Not the edge that many of you perceive to be ''a pair of shoulder pads''. Though that was cutting edge two years ago, now it's like a good worn out sweater. Hand it up in your closet baby.
It's time for something new, something that involves a frightening smile.
Fear and pleasure is the best recipe for disaster and so it hit me.
1) Brass Knuckles
In any form.

Edge in its best form. Violence should be fashionable too.
I have been on a brass knuckles crave for a long time now.

2) The next festivity not many know of (which is why I absolutely LOVE it). My main desire. Heelbags. Heelbags are a rarity but when the right one is found it is bliss. The higher the better.

They are transettic is kills.

Diversity

It seems to be as though in this world as much as we have grown to learn to embrace universality and diversity...we still cling to cliched ''grouping''.
Everyone HAS to fall somewhere, but I belong nowhere. I take bits and pieces of groups I rather gravitate towards and carry on from there. They call this process ''eclectic''.
So what is the end result of individuals such as myself? What happens to me? Where is my stand?
I think I have recently realized that I should HAVE no stand. I don't need another hand.
I reminisced on my life,and why God gave me the plan he did (as lonely as it may feel sometimes). A few months I had created :Transettic.


Transettic : To set regulations, rules, trends, and movements. To trend set.

Transetting would not involve this above. A transettic person would not be there.
A transettic person would sit by themselves, walk strong alone, and feed off of energy.
Many would argue that this is a lonely road. But I beg to differ.
In truth, this is the only way to really find yourself. Finding yourself without the thoughts and opinion of others lingering around your mindframe aids to this. They say that you are who you are with.
Your character defines your friends. This is why transettic people do not have any/many friends.
They choose to keep a few, and keep them conjoined and mysterious. 
This leaves the element of mystery with a hint of privacy.


The next time you enlist me under a label I will merely chuckle because little do you know that my definition of social grouping is soon to change the world. I cannot wait until ''transettic'' hits dictionaries and minds of confused children.
So I accept the consequences/risks that has to come with the idea of being transettic. 
It is a lonely road to reach the top, but I know nothing in my way will make me stop.

Interview - Yuima Nakazato

Yuima Nakazato.

For those of you that aren't familiar of his work, he is known for his ....outland-ish taste.

I caught up with him recently and...

Xtina : Alright sweetheart are you ready? 
What made you interested to follow through with the fashion world?
Yuima: I was expressing myself by fashion what I wearing since when I was in my childhood.
I think it was influence of the street fashion movement in Tokyo when I was a high school student.
So, it was not influence from the designers, it was from the street. 

Xtina : You're making me want to take a trip to Japan mister! So what exactly inspired your new collection? I had seen your work for FALL/WINTER 2010...and though...wow. The big hair, the distorted wings, etc...This is beautiful, but I wonder what the f*** was going on in his head! Its genius! So do guide me to your vision.
Yuima : I imagine that imaginary human, is an animal, human, man and women, machine, these elements are together in one body. It is a superior human. Image of cold & fire. 

Xtina : Wow! That's very intriguing. It now makes sense why you tend to collaborate with strong and confident women in the entertainment industry.What must it have been like to know that you had designed for the Black Eyed Peas (Fergie), Lady Gaga, etc.
Yuima : For the costume design, It was great experience for me. Its great process to create costume for just especially one person.

Xtina :Oh I'm sure. When I had seen your work on the catwalk, I saw other dimensions. Can you explain that? It was very innovative I must say...
Yuima : I have got inspiration from the Leonard Da Vinci's imagination. His starting points are that his imagination went further than our imagination... So I went to the past world, and try to see future...

Xtina : I love that line. Went to the past to see the future. Beautiful. When you work, do you like to surrounded by people, or do you like to work in solitude? (We all know how some people can be you know!)
Yuima : When I started thinking, I need to be solitude. But other work, together with people is more fun!

Xtina : I'm the same way. What is your goal for the future? Where do you want this fashion statement to take you?
Yuima : At this point, my imagination is able to realize only 20%...I wish one day would be possible to realize what I imagine... I need more experience and learn many things...

Xtina : Oh, how you and I are not so different after all! You are very philosophical. You enjoy working with very abstract shapes. Do you think that the geometric shapes can be worn on a daily basis, or are they just a fashion statement really? 
Yuima : In my concept, I believe that geometric and the organic form should be become together... So I always search the form that be living both together... 

And that was the end of that round...
I must say he was the biggest sweetheart though. Very modest.
The fashion world cannot wait to see more of you. That's an understatement. Love ya, babe!

Italo Calvino

Italo, I have been sewing my soul on your pockethole.
I have really been enjoying your presence lately.
Come by more often, please. The classroom is soon to be your second home.

I must say our teacher has taste. A specific taste bud.
The tongue is sweet. Top dollar elegance.
I can appreciate a righteous tongue.

Italo even had films done by him. You know you have to be fabulous to gain such a status.
He also won a Nobel Prize for Literature. I salute you.
 One of his best works : ''If on a winter's night a traveler'' (wrote in 1979).....
The content is playful and intriguing. It is what some would call ''confusing'', but I enjoy a few question marks popping up here and there. Makes me think.
Thank you for such bliss, Calvino. A lot of imagery seeps through your work, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Set me free because I'm not running.

The Discovery of Rilke....

Ever since I started to study Rainer Maria Rilke in school, I couldn't put him down.
I don't know if it's because of his addicting ideologies.
Or because I see a lot of myself in him and his thought processes.
He exposed what he believed was the truth, and spoke just that.
He was honest, in a world where the truth has now become a scandal...
that's all people were really searching for.

I collected my favourite Rilke quotes :

''A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship.''
''I want to be with those who know secret things or else alone.''
''Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.''
''Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.''
 ''The deepest experience of the creator is feminine, for it is experience of receiving and bearing.''